


years of eden

by lulumina



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: Alternate Universe - Actors, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Friends to Lovers, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Minor Hisoka/Illumi Zoldyck, Minor Kurapika/Leorio Paladiknight, Slow Burn, Tags will be updated as story updates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-21
Updated: 2021-02-21
Packaged: 2021-03-19 01:35:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,279
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29618586
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lulumina/pseuds/lulumina
Summary: Killua and Gon have been best friends since they first met at auditions for the fantasy space drama, Departure!. Killua has always been able to keep his feelings for Gon under wraps, but as filming begins for the show's final season and their onscreen relationship progresses, Killua begins to wonder how long he can keep hiding his heart from the boy who knows him best.
Relationships: Gon Freecs/Killua Zoldyck
Comments: 3
Kudos: 25





	years of eden

**Author's Note:**

> title of this fic is from my incorrectly-heard transcription of a lyric from Eddie Baby by Felix Hagan & The Family! A box of donuts to anyone who can guess the real lyric.
> 
> please note that i am not a film actor and i know next to nothing about the way the industry works! every instance of tv showbiz in this fic will be delightfully plucked from my own silly little brain and hopefully land kinda close to the truth!

Killua Zoldyck was used to fame.

He was used to people calling his name out on the street, or stopping him at the supermarket to ask for an autograph or a photo, or glancing at a rack of magazines at the checkout lane to see his face on a glossy cover boasting a tell-all exclusive interview that typically told very little. 

These experiences and the like came with the title of Zoldyck, and he was used to them. He  _ had _ to be from a young age, or the pressures and expectations and constant eyes on his every move would have crushed him a long time ago.

So he learned to ignore the shouts, to provide the autograph but politely decline the photo, to roll his eyes at the magazine and move along. 

He was positive millions of kids would give their left arm to have even one of the chances he took for granted. Big name directors begging him to audition, dozens of A-list agencies clambering for his name on their booklist, countless teenage fans with stan accounts littering social media. But with the fame came a set of expectations no kid should have to bear. 

Years of curated public appearances and his brother’s close watch on his choices whittled down his resistance to this unusual lifestyle, until it became just another part of his reality. Starring in art films from the age of three, endless private coaches and tutors and workshops. Working on the films his father condoned, turning down offers his family deemed unworthy of the Zoldyck name. No time for sports, or art classes, or attending normal schools, or making normal friends. Or any friends at all, really. But that was fine. Killua didn’t think he needed friends, or at least Illumi told him he didn’t. 

Until he met Gon, of course. 

The radiant brown-eyed boy he’d met at twelve years old, at the final round of callbacks for  _ Departure! _ . There were a few other boys waiting to try out for the part, and each was good. But they weren’t Gon. Gon, who from the moment he stepped into the room, captured Killua’s attention. Maybe it was his stupid little green jacket, or his weird spiky hair, or his insane acting chops for a kid who’d never even been in a movie before. But Killua likes to think it was something else; some fire that Gon held in his eyes, a blaze that drew Killua in and quickly drugged him into depending on its light. 

Acting opposite him was perfect. There was no other word for it. Gon acted with his whole being, yet not in an obnoxious way, like Killua knew that most child actors tended to do. It was if he channeled everything he had into each character tic, each intonation, and made the part his from the inside out. It was  _ dynamic _ . He played up Killua’s strengths, complimenting Killua’s energetic on-screen persona with his personal interpretation of his own, slightly more reserved character. Privately, Killua had always thought the other main character was bland and poorly written, but when played by Gon, the boy had life and depth and warmth that none of the other actors had provided. 

As they ran through the stock scene that all the boys before him had performed, the room hushed. Production assistants stopped muttering to each other over their coffee, and even the other boys in the room seemed cowed. When they were finished, Biscuit Krueger thanked the others for their time and dismissed them, then had Gon and Killua run through the scene again. Then she pulled another scene from a folder and instructed them to do a cold read. Then another, then another, and another, until she sat back on the folding table at the front of the room and just looked at them. 

Gon was fidgeting with the palm of his hand and bouncing a bit on his heels, and as Killua peered at him from the corner of his eye, Gon’s sight was trained right on Bisky’s. A brave move for anyone-- Bisky’s style of direction was tough, and she expected utmost respect and dedication from her actors. A single assessing glance from Biscuit Kreuger could tear down even the most confident adult, and meeting that gaze head on was no easy feat. 

Eventually, Bisky nodded at them. “Thank you, Mr. Freecss. You and Killua may wait outside, someone will be out to fetch you in a moment.” 

Gon bowed and Killua could swear he saw his nose touch his knees. He jogged out of the room, Killua following close behind. When the door closed behind them, Killua leaned against the wall while Gon stood in the center of the hallway, doing a weird little skip in place, hopping to spread his feet then hopping again to bring them back together. 

“Wow, that was scary! But fun! You’re really good, Killua!”

Killua chuckled. “Yeah. But so are you, though.” 

“D’you think so? I hope I get the part. I would love to act with you!” 

“We just did act together,” Killua pointed out, partially to hide the heat creeping up his neck. What was that there for? And what was Gon talking about? There was no way he wouldn’t get the part after that performance. 

“Well, yeah! But on a real camera, next time!” Gon stopped his hopping routine and grinned at Killua. 

Killua cocked his head, observing the other boy. “Me, too.” He pulled a yo-yo from his pocket and absentmindedly fiddled with it, watching Gon’s eyes widen at a trick he performed. 

“How’dja do that?” Gon asked, immediately pushing his face up close to the string of the yo-yo as Killua did the trick again. 

“Stupid, you’re gonna get your nose cut off,” Killua snapped, before he gave himself a mental slap on the forehead. 

_ Great way to make friends, Kil, calling them names and threatening to amputate their facial appendages.  _

Gon seemed unfazed by the insult, however, only straightening up and bouncing on the balls of his feet again. “Teach me!” 

Killua smiled. 

By the time Bisky came back out and informed Gon that he’d gotten the part, Killua taught Gon three new yo-yo tricks, they brainstormed seven ways to use the toy as a murder weapon, and Killua gained his first ever friend. 

~

Killua stepped out of the limousine and a rush of warm, slightly heavy night air cascaded over his skin. Immediately, blinding flashes and screaming paparazzi bombarded his senses. Keeping his face reliably neutral, he walked forward before hearing the distinct sound of a clearing throat. Illumi slid out of the car behind him, the picture of elegance in a tailored midnight blue suit and sleek black hair loose at his back. His pale face glowed in the marquee lighting, his pupils barely distinguishable from his irises. Fucking creepy, as always. Killua didn’t have a single idea why he was such a popular model. 

As if sensing the disparaging thoughts in Killua’s mind, Illumi cast a warning glance at Killua, and the message in his eyes was clear:  _ Don’t slip up. You’re only here because of me.  _

Its meaning went completely over the reporters’ heads, and their only reaction to the appearance of the oldest Zoldyck brother was to raise the volume of their shouts and the intensity of their camera flashes. Zoldyck public appearances were rare, and Killua was sure that several photographers were about to get a raise for simply having captured Illumi on camera. 

Illumi swept ahead of Killua, emanating a cold indifference to the numerous pleads for him to turn his head for a picture. Killua followed behind, taking his brother’s lead and keeping his face forward. 

His eyes, however, darted from side to side, scanning the smattering of celebrities across the carpet for that one familiar head of spiky brown hair-- One of the only two reasons for his appearance at the screening. 

Right at the entrance to the interview portion of the red carpet, Killua found him. 

Gon was wearing a forest green suit, chattering away with a reporter. His smile was infectious, and both the reporter and the cameraman by her side were laughing. Killua could feel a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth, and he made a conscious effort to quell the tidal wave of affection building up inside his chest. His efforts proved pointless when Gon caught sight of him, and grinned even wider. 

“Kill-u-aa!!” he shouted, waving his hand wildly in the air. As if Killua would be able to miss him. The reporter quickly pulled her microphone back, fiddling with a few buttons to adjust to Gon’s sudden volume, but smiling anyway. Few could resist Gon’s positive energy, and no one stayed mad at him for long. 

Killua recalled Illumi’s orders from earlier in the car-  _ No interviews, no interaction. Stay by my side and stay focused.  _

Tearing his eyes away from Gon, Killua scanned the crowd for Illumi. He seemed to be nowhere in sight, until-- 

Ah. 

There he stood, looking mildly uncomfortable next to a tall man with obnoxiously bright pink and orange hair. A reporter with stars in his eyes grilled the pair with questions. Illumi wasn’t speaking, letting the other man do most of the work, but Hisoka’s vise grip around his waist made it clear he wasn’t leaving any time soon. 

Hypocrite. 

Killua rolled his eyes and strolled over to Gon, hands in the pockets of his dress pants. The reporter raised her eyebrows, and Killua swore he could see little dollar signs pop up in place of her pupils. 

“Killua! This is Eliza! She was asking about our work together on  _ Departure! _ , and then I saw you, so you can help answer too!” As Gon spoke, he bounced on the balls of his feet and beamed at Killua. 

Killua nodded at the reporter-- Eliza, Gon had said. Of course, Gon had remembered her name. “Cool. Nice to meet you.”

“You as well, Mr. Zoldyck! Now, as I was telling Mr. Freecss, the entire nation was left speechless by the most recent season of  _ Departure _ ! The entire cast and crew did such exceptional work. What would you say was your favorite part of the filming process?” 

Gon jumped to respond right away, and Eliza rushed to turn the head of the microphone over so his answer could be heard. 

“Acting with Killua!” Gon chirped earnestly. 

Killua almost choked on his spit. No matter how many times Gon blatantly praised him or his company, it always came as a surprise. 

“And that’s not to say that Leorio and Kurapika and Letz aren’t great, and all, because they totally are! I love hanging out with the whole cast, of course. But, y’know, Killua was the first other actor from the show that I met!”

Eliza chuckled and nodded knowingly. Practically everyone knew that-- Gon made sure to talk about their first meeting to every interviewer who would listen. Meanwhile, Killua’s ears burned. 

“Being on set with him is just great. He’s so funny, and when the days get long, he’s always able to cheer me up, and…” Gon continued rambling, and Killua swallowed hard. 

God, when Gon went on and on like that, it worsened the persistent ache inside Killua’s heart. He hated it. It had always been present, Killua thought, and it wasn’t horrible at first. It was pleasant, a reminder that Killua had a friend-- a real friend. As the years went on, Killua learned to recognize the ache for what it really was-- yearning, relentless yearning, to be close to Gon, to spend time with him like no one else would, to care for him in ways a friend probably shouldn’t. It had always been clear that Gon didn’t have the same ache in his chest, so Killua had learned to push the ache down until he was certain Gon wouldn’t see it, and risk losing the best person in Killua’s life. 

But times like this, when Gon went embarrassingly on about how much he was grateful for their friendship, Killua’s heart panged. Because he knew it would never be more than that.

“Killua, what about you?” 

Startled, Killua blinked at Gon’s expectant face. Apparently, he had wrapped up his answer. 

“What was  _ your _ favorite part of the filming process?” Gon grinned at him. 

“Oh. Uh,” Killua fumbled for an answer, certain his face was bright pink. “I enjoyed working with Bisky-- er, Ms. Krueger. She has exceptional directional skills, and under her mentorship I really honed my personal skills and learned a lot about the business in general.”  _ Yeah, right. She was a she-witch.  _

Eliza nodded. “Yes, and her style really comes through in this last season especially! Notably, the scene in episode five where Lukia meets his mother...”

As Eliza began detailing the scene, Killua mentally ran through the answer he had provided for the last question. He hadn’t mentioned Gon at all, even though Gon’s answer had been centered around him. God, that made him seem like a jackass. Hopefully Gon didn’t take it to heart, but Killua had been under stress, caught in the middle of a stupid train of thought like a lovesick middle schooler. 

_ Get ahold of yourself,  _ he scolded. 

Gon and the reporter continued chatting, and Killua chimed in at opportune times. 

After a few more minutes of grilling, the cameraman gave Eliza a signal to wrap it up, and she smiled and nodded. “Alright! I have one more question for you guys. Everyone’s been buzzing about yesterday’s announcement- filming for the fourth and final season of  _ Departure! _ starts next week! There’s been speculation about the future of your characters’ relationship- do you two have anything to say on the matter?” 

Ah, there it was. Killua had been told to be on guard for questions regarding the popular fanship between his and Gon’s characters, and to avoid them entirely should they come up. Oji and Lukia had been dancing around each other for the entire last season, as their relationship tottered on the edge between friendship and something more. The romantic subtext in their interactions was entirely present, and it had been since season one. Killua had always played Lukia as a boy coming to terms with his attraction for the prince he was sworn to protect, and Gon seemed to be on the same page as him. In fact, before they had even started filming the first season, Bisky had sat the two of them down to hold an in-depth discussion about Lukia and Oji’s bond and its vital importance in the story. 

Now that the final season was nearing, Bisky planned to canonize their feelings for each other and have them end the show as an established relationship, but she had sworn each and every cast and crew member to secrecy on the matter. At the media training sessions, the instructor had told them very clearly what to do if faced with a question that could spoil future episodes: pacify and evade. 

Killua knew that he was going to have to take the reins with this one, as Gon was notorious for being a blabbermouth when it came to spoilers. During the press tour for the third season, he had almost let spill that Leorio’s character was Lukia’s cousin, and Killua had nearly been forced to tackle him to shut him up. 

Sensing a similar situation if he didn’t act quickly, Killua spoke up. 

“Well, we all know that Lukia and Oji’s friendship is a driving force in the show. If they hadn’t met and bonded, who knows what would have happened to the Celestial Monarchy, or even characters like Nicol and Adric. Knowing this, we can assure you that Lukia and Oji will have a massive part to play in the upcoming season, and we really hope everyone enjoys watching!” 

Gon grinned and nodded beside him, a little bit sheepish. 

Eliza, clearly disappointed by the vague answer, thanked the boys for their time and let them move on down the carpet. 

Gon practically skipped in front of Killua, then turned around to walk backwards as he spoke. “Killua, that was such a good answer! I was going to say something wayyy differ-”

“Not here, stupid! There could still be people listening!” Killua hissed, giving Gon a light karate chop to the head.

“Ah, yeah. Oops!” Gon laughed, rubbing his forehead where Killua had hit him. 

A lump caught in Killua’s throat. Under the lights, smiling and laughing, Gon looked  _ so good.  _ His forest green suit was tailored to fit to perfection, a matching tie snug around his neck. Killua silently thanked the gods that Gon had a halfway decent stylist, or else he would have likely opted to show up in some bizarre shorts/suit jacket-combo. Although even that probably wouldn’t keep him from looking good. 

It wasn’t fair, really. He had always been cute, even when they were both kids, but back then Killua had been less concerned with Gon’s appearance and more delighted in their newfound friendship. But somewhere around the filming and release of the  _ Departure! _ ’s third season, Gon sprouted up a few inches taller, his face lost the extra baby fat, his arms became toned and his voice deeper, and Killua began to start wondering what Gon’s lips would feel like pressed against his own. 

And now, under the marquee lights, Killua’s mind again began to wander down that unavoidable avenue. Curse those big, stupid, amber eyes, always pulling Killua in and drowning him in their depths. Curse the wide, bright grin that loved to grab Killua’s heart upon sight and squeeze until he could hardly catch his breath. Curse the-

“Gosh, you’re really spacey tonight, Killua!” Gon chirped. 

Killua was once again startled out of his reverie. “No I’m not, stupid,” he stammered, shoving his hands in his pockets.

Gon spun back around to walk by Killua’s side. “Hmm,” he teased. “I think Killua is distracted by something, but what is it?” 

“Oh, I think they want a picture,” Killua said loudly. He grabbed Gon’s arm to turn him around to face the clump of paparazzi behind the metal barrier. Killua posed the way Illumi drilled into him- level stare, head tilted slightly to the left, one hand lingering over his pocket. Look straight ahead, don’t turn even when they tell you to. Gon, meanwhile, looped an arm behind Killua and rested his hand gently on the small of Killua’s back, then grinned and waved as the photographers snapped away. Killua ignored the way his heart fluttered at the body contact. 

“Gon,” Killua hissed out of the corner of his mouth. “You’re kinda ruining the vibe I was going for.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Killua!” Gon replied, shooting him an impish side-eyed look.

As soon as the paparazzi had their fill and one of the carpet managers ushered Gon and Killua along, Killua perked up again on the lookout for Illumi. He likely wouldn’t approve of the two boys taking photos together, much less interviewing by each other's sides. No one in the Zoldyck family was supposed to let the media make a pair out of them and another actor, lest the family name be “tainted by an outsider’s influence” or some garbage. Seeing as Illumi had already practically broken that rule by spending far too much time with Hisoka, Killua didn’t care to abide by it, but he wasn’t stupid. Flaunting his and Gon’s friendship in Illumi’s face would be a fool’s move. 

Nearing the end of the red carpet, Killua again glanced behind him. Gon seemed to catch the action, and his smile dimmed. 

“Are you looking for Illumi? He came here with you, didn’t he?” 

“Yeah. I’m technically not supposed to be hanging out with you right now, but I don’t really care. Last I saw, he was interviewing with Hisoka, anyway.”

At the mention of the pink-haired model, Gon’s expression darkened even further. He was silent as they headed into the theatre, relaxing as the shouting and flashing faded. A whoosh of air conditioning ruffled Killua’s hair, and had no impact on Gon’s gelled spikes. 

“Guess there’s nothing really to worry about if we haven’t seen him yet. Likely the moment he gets away from Hisoka, he’ll be back at my side. He’s creepy fast like that,” Killua remarked. 

“Not if he doesn’t know where you are,” Gon hummed, the spark of a mischievous smile spreading across his face. “How long d’you think we can shake him for?” 

Killua instinctively mimicked his friend’s expression. “If we can make it until the lights go down in the theatre, I’d say we’re golden for a solid three hours.”

Gon’s close-lipped smile burst into a full on beam, the brightness of it almost knocking the breath out of Killua’s lungs. Bouncing on the balls of his feet, Gon amped himself up to start running toward a nearby hallway. “Okay! Let’s go find somew-”

Killua grabbed him by the scruff of his suit jacket and tugged him back. “Stupid! Don’t draw attention to yourself. We have to act natural or else people will get suspicious.”

Several other guests milling around had already turned their attention toward the two boys with quizzical glances. Killua ignored them. 

Gon rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “Right,” he said. 

The boys both straightened up and strolled casually towards the main hallway, bypassing the concessions and displaying their tickets to the usher, who directed them towards the central theatre. 

Spotting a door off to the side marked “Employees Only: Do Not Enter,” Killua nudged Gon with his elbow and Gon nodded, having already spotted it. A quick scan of the area told him that no one was paying attention, and with an experimental tug of the door to reveal its unlocked state, both of the boys slipped inside without a sound. 

The new space appeared to be a maintenance staircase, concrete steps winding both up and down. The only light came from dim bulbs stationed at each landing. Gon’s excited laughter bounced off the bare walls and reentered Killua’s ears as a warped echo. 

“Where d’you think this goes, Killua?” Gon asked, bounding up the first few steps. 

“Dunno,” Killua responded, placing his hands behind his head. “Probably just to the screen itself, for janitors and stuff.”

“Aw, don’t be so boring, Killua!” Gon whined from the first landing. “That’s not very cool. I’d rather think it leads up to the roof or something actually exciting. Maybe a secret lair in the basement!” 

Killua followed behind Gon as he took the steps two at a time. “Kinda a lame villain to have their secret lair in a movie theatre basement.” 

“Hm, maybe,” Gon hummed. “But they could actually be a smart villain, putting their lair where no one would expect it.” 

Killua and Gon continued their banter as they made their way up the stairs, popping their heads into doors they encountered to see if they would come across anything interesting- overall, no luck. Broom closets and electrician’s cabinets and a disappointing lack of secret lairs. 

After what seemed like the twentieth lap up, Gon plopped himself down cross-legged on a landing. “Maybe we went the wrong way if we wanted something cool,” he sighed.

Killua followed suit, leaning against the wall with his feet on the steps below him. “I mean, the whole point of running off was to hide from Illumi.”

Gon dramatically flopped over on his side, peering up at Killua. The warm red glow from the utility lights gave his eyes a liquidy amber appearance. “Y’know what this reminds me of, Killua?” 

“Hm?” Killua said, tearing his eyes from Gon’s to focus on the ceiling.

“When you used to come over for sleepovers at Aunt Mito’s house when we were kids, and the morning after, when a butler would come to pick you up, we would hide in the closet so you wouldn’t have to leave.”

Killua chuckled. “Yeah, I remember. And we would bring your action figures and flashlights in there so we could still play in the dark.” 

“We seriously thought they didn’t know we were there,” Gon laughed. “I think Aunt Mito would distract your butlers with coffee and stuff to let us have a few more minutes to play.”

Killua’s heart warmed at the memory. The early days of their friendship, before season one of  _ Departure! _ was released and both him and Gon’s fame skyrocketed to being household names. Killua, of course, had always been in the public eye, but had only acted in films approved by his father and mother. That meant stuffy art films, niche dramas and the like.  _ Departure!  _ had been his first project that truly appeared in the public consciousness, and audiences had eaten it up and begged for more. Gon, however, was relatively new to the business-- his Aunt Mito had wanted him to wait until he was a teenager to dip his feet in the film industry, partially worried he would end up like his father-- but Gon had convinced her to let him audition for  _ Departure!  _ and he ended up getting the role and rising to stardom, much to Mito’s concern. 

Still, those days of sleepovers with Gon, exploring nearby forests and laughing themselves silly, buying bags of chocolate robots with Gon’s allowance, gorging themselves and getting sick together, making bonfires under the stars. . . Killua missed them greatly. They were the last time he’d felt truly carefree, without his parents’ and brother’s expectations looming over his head like an anvil about to drop. 

Killua picked at a stray silk threat on his jacket sleeve. “We’re a lot older now, but we’re still hiding. Funny, huh?” 

Gon smiled softly. “I don’t mind hiding with you, even if we are older now, Killua. It just means we get to spend more time together.”

A furious blush rose to Killua’s cheeks as he registered Gon’s words. “I-- Gon, what’s that supposed to-- Stupid! That’s embarrassing.” 

Gon pushed himself up with a grin. “What? I’m just being honest. Spending time with Killua is the best!” 

If Killua’s face got any redder, he was positive it would explode. “Sh-shut up. Let’s keep going, huh?” He abruptly stood, brushing the seat of his pants off and shoving his hands in his pockets. 

“Wait, Killua,” Gon hissed. 

“What?” Killua asked without turning around. He didn’t need to make his blush more obvious than it already was. 

“Do you hear that?” Gon’s footsteps pattered down a few flights. 

“Hear what?” Killua whispered, his curiosity getting the best of him as he turned on his heel to catch up to Gon. Gon pointed over the railing into the increasing dimness, and Killua strained his ears to catch two muttering voices. 

Gon motioned for Killua to be quiet. They retraced their steps down the stairs, soon passing the door they first entered. As they descended, two voices increased in volume. One lower, a little bit gravelly, and the other stern and of a slightly higher register. They seemed to be arguing.

“We’ve already gone over this, Leorio, and I already told you that I’m doing it.”

Gon gave Killua a sideways glance to confirm that he also knew who it was. The tone was unmistakable.  _ Kurapika,  _ Killua mouthed back. 

A frustrated sigh came from Leorio. “You don’t have to,” he said. 

Gon, impervious to Killua’s sharp whispers to stay where he was, began creeping further down the stairs, nearer to where Leorio and Kurapika were arguing. 

“I don’t care,” Kurapika responded. “It’s something that I need to-” His voice cut off as Gon’s dress shoe squeaked traitorously against a concrete step. 

“What?” Leorio asked. 

“Shut up,” Kurapika snapped, followed by an incredulous noise from Leorio’s throat. “We’ve got an audience.” 

Killua sighed loudly, giving Gon a whack to the back of the head as he passed him to reach the landing on which Kurapika and Leorio were standing. Kurapika had his back to the wall, Leorio towering over him-- yet, it was clear that Kurapika had the upper hand in this argument, as Leorio’s shoulders were hunched and he looked cowed by whatever disagreement they were wrapped up in. A door marked “THEATRE” in big block letters was stationed directly across from Killua’s vantage point. Didn’t take a genius to figure out where that led. 

“Hey, old man,” Killua addressed Leorio. “Next time you two decide to have a lover’s quarrel at a movie premiere, maybe think about doing it in a place a little less accessible.”

Kurapika snorted. “I believe this stairwell is about as far from accessible as we could possibly get. Didn’t you two read the sign on the door outside?” 

“Didn’t  _ you _ ?” Killua snapped back. 

It had been a few weeks since the four of them had seen each other, with their individual conflicts and matters to attend to. Usually, they tried to meet up one night a week, for dinner and games, but their schedules had all been pretty busy lately as they geared up for the filming process. 

Gon clattered down the stairs behind Killua, and launched himself into Leorio’s arms-- Ever the physically affectionate one out of the two boys. Leorio gave Gon’s spiky hair a thorough scrubbing, and Kurapika patted Gon’s head as he accepted his own hug. 

Tonight, Leorio and Kurapika were the main attraction, co-starring in a reboot of the famous heist film,  _ Zodiac.  _ They wore suits that had clearly been coordinated, Kurapika in deep red with a navy tie and Leorio the inverse. 

“What were you guys arguing about?” Gon asked. 

“Well, Kurapika, why don’t you tell these boys what you’re planning to-”

Kurapika shot a glare at Leorio. “Nothing,” he said crisply. “It’s not important.” 

Gon seemed content enough with the answer, but Killua glanced at Leorio to confirm Kurapika’s statement. Leorio shook his head with a shrug, a clear,  _ Not right now, I guess.  _

Alright, then. 

“You boys should probably head back to your seats,” Leorio suggested. “I think we’re about to go out there.” 

Right on cue, a harried looking employee popped her head out of the door, headset on and clipboard in hand. 

“Mr. Kurta and Mr. Paladaknight? They’re ready for you in two minutes.”

“Thank you,” Kurapika said. “We’ll be right there.”

The employee only then seemed to notice that there were four people on the cramped landing, not two, and her forehead wrinkled. 

“Are you guys supposed to be in here?” She asked.

“Yes,” Killua answered simply. Gon nodded emphatically.

She seemed to be working through equations in her mind as she processed this statement. She glanced at her clipboard, then back up at the boys. “Um, okay. Whatever. Don’t break anything.” She popped her head back in and left the group alone.

“God bless minimum wage workers,” Leorio laughed. “I bet she’s seen so much crap tonight. Celebs are the worst.” 

“You  _ are _ a celebrity,” Kurapika sighed. “And if you really mean that, slip her a tip. I’m sure she wouldn’t object.” 

Leorio made a single clicking noise from the side of his mouth as he pulled a money clip from his pocket and waved it around. “Already planning on it, babeyy.” 

Kurapika rolled his eyes, but the flushing of the tips of his ears didn’t go unnoticed by Killua. 

_ Geez, they’re so annoying,  _ he thought.  _ Just kiss already, goddamnit.  _

“Well, Killua? Should we head back?” Gon asked, grabbing Killua’s hand. 

A shock coursed through Killua’s veins, his nerve endings tingling at each tiny cell where their skin was pressed together. Gon’s hand was warm, calloused, strong. Killua swore he could feel Gon’s steady pulse where their fingers touched-- Gon’s reassuring heartbeat etched into each groove and swirl of his fingertips. Killua swallowed. 

“I- I mean, weren’t we here to… uh…” Killua struggled to collect his thoughts as every nerve ending in his cold hands screamed at the sensation of Gon’s skin against his own. “Um... avoid Illumi?” 

“Illumi?” Leorio asked, a cloud falling over his face. “Is that prick here? God, if he is, I’m going to grind his stupid smug face into the pavement and then-”

“Leorio.” Kurapika warned, but the same distaste smouldered in his eyes. 

All of them knew Illumi well enough. Well enough to hate him. Sometimes he insisted on coming along to drop Killua off at their weekly get-togethers, not masking his distaste for Killua’s choice of friends, trying to get Killua to change his mind and return home for the night up until the moment he left the car. 

Killua had recounted stories to his friends of his training at Illumi’s hand. 

_ In order to be successful, _ Illumi had once said, after a particularly grueling acting intensive,  _ you have to be willing to make sacrifices. And I only want you to be successful. Don’t you understand, Kil?  _

_ No, _ Killua had thought.  _ I don’t understand. Acting is a job. Surely a job shouldn't have to involve hours of training and working and workshops so taxing that you throw up after a single method acting exercise.  _

Killua had been three. 

It hadn’t gotten much better from there, Killua had just improved at enduring it. His lifestyle. The one his parents and older brother curated for him. 

_ It’s easier to just go along with it, _ he had told Gon once. _ I just do what they want me to do, the trainings and the exercises and the diets and whatever, and just keep the time left over for myself.  _ Gon then wore a similar expression to the one he had on now, gripping Killua’s hand with one foot on the first step. 

The expression was anger, and helplessness, and resolve all mixed into one-- but no pity. Gon knew that Killua was strong, he didn’t need someone else to protect him from his family, and Killua was grateful for it. What Killua did need was an escape, and Gon was all too happy to offer that whenever Killua asked. 

What else were friends for? 

Killua swallowed, acutely aware of his hand still curled in Gon’s. Why had he grabbed it, anyway? “Well, I kinda wanna see the movie…” 

Leorio shook his head. “Hey, it’s nothing special. We can watch it all together another time, if you guys want; Kurapika and I have to sit in a designated section, anyway…”

Gon was clearly disappointed at this suggestion-- Killua knew how much he enjoyed the experience of a movie theatre full of people. Yet, Illumi seemed to have eyes everywhere- the moment the boys took their designated seats, his brother would swoop in like a hawk. 

Kurapika cocked his head with a small smile. “I think this theatre has box seats from when it used to be an opera house. I don’t think they’re used for movie theatre seating…” 

Leorio, catching on, curled his face into a sly grin. “I’ve heard they’re pretty tough to see into from the main floor,” he added. 

Gon gave Killua’s hand a squeeze. “How much do you wanna bet we can find some popcorn before the film starts rolling?” 

~

Admittedly, the movie screen was pretty hard to see from their vantage point in the box. But the nearby hidden surround sound speakers offered both a convenient conversation drowner for anyone sitting below, and a way for Gon and Killua to perfectly hear what was going on in the film. Upon locating the closed-off box seats, the boys had originally attempted to follow along with the movie, but after both of their necks started to cramp, they elected to make a game out of guessing the events of the film based on sound cues alone. 

So there they sat, scavenged popcorn tubs in hand, long-since guzzled Icees at their feet, backs against the walls of the box. It was lucky that the girl working the concessions was a huge fan of  _ Departure!,  _ or else she may not have been willing to pop a new batch for them. 

Gon had butter on his fingers, and was about to wipe them off on his dress pants when Killua grabbed his wrists and hissed, “Gon, I grabbed napkins for a reason!” 

Gon frowned. “Killua, they’re going to get dry-cleaned anyway.” 

“Stupid, oil doesn’t easily come out. Just- here,” Killua shoved a handful of napkins into Gon’s hands. “Wipe them off like a normal person.”

Gon mumbled something about laundry detergent being there for a reason as he licked the salt from his fingers, then cleaned them with the napkin bundle. Killua tried very hard not to watch. 

The sound of a gunshot exploded from the nearby speakers, followed by a shout from Leorio’s character. 

Gon gasped. “Did Kurapika just get shot?” 

Listening intently, Killua nodded. “Probably. After the heist went south, I bet someone came after them.”

Gon tsked. “Man, I really liked his character.”

Leorio’s voice warbled from the speakers, frantic and thin. He sounded like he was on the verge of tears, urging Kurapika’s character to stay with him, to just make it a few more feet.

“He can’t die. They announced a sequel already, didn’t they?” Killua wondered, sticking his hand in the bucket of popcorn to fish out the dregs. 

Gon shrugged. “Maybe they’ll get a new member of the agency, or something. Didn’t Machi Komacine announce an unnamed project of hers with this same director?” 

“Hm, I thought it was unrelated. Oh, wait-- listen. He’s not dead.” 

Kurapika’s voice filtered through, weak but not defeated. He said something about keeping a promise not to die on his partner, and Leorio let out a shaky laugh. 

“Damn, they really pulled their weight with this one,” Killua noted. “The writing isn’t all that great, but they kinda make up for it.” 

“Aw, I liked the writing!” Gon protested. 

“Of course you would, stupid. It’s full of all your favorite cliches.” 

Gon crossed his arms with a huff. “Cliches are the backbone of reliable storytelling.”

“Very wise,” Killua snorted, tossing a popcorn kernel in his best friend’s face. 

“Hey!” Gon said, pelting Killua back and bursting into a fit of laughter as one piece landed right in Killua’s left nostril. Killua couldn’t help but erupt into giggles himself, digging a hand in the tub to reload his ammo.

Suddenly, it dawned on Killua that the theatre was very, very, quiet. And the echoes of his and Gon’s laughter seemed to be louder than the soft music trickling from the speakers-- they had just effectively announced the location of their private seating to the entire audience. 

“Fuck,” Killua whispered. 

Gon had both hands over his mouth in an effort to further stifle his laughter. “Killua,” Gon mustered. “Your face is so red right now you look like a tomato.”

“Shut  _ up, _ ” Killua hissed, smushing down Gon’s hair with a chop to his skull. “We gotta go, my brother’s gonna know that we’re up here--” 

The two quickly gathered up their trash and dumped it in an outside garbage receptacle, then snuck away from the box seats.

~

Unfortunately, Illumi was waiting for them at the bottom of the stairs. 

His expression was thick with contempt for Killua’s companion, in the subtly malicious way that made Killua’s blood boil in contrast to the embarrassment he currently felt. 

What was it about Gon that Illumi hated so much? If Killua had to guess, it would be how Gon was so bright and warm that it made Illumi’s cold demeanor less threatening. That, or how he was Gon’s first friend, when his entire life, Illumi insisted that he needn’t engage in such frivolous ideals.

At the moment, however, it was likely just that Gon’s presence had enabled him and Killua to effectively ruin the emotional climax of the movie for all in attendance. 

Illumi didn’t say much at first, just radiated disappointment. Killua could already feel his own resolve withering. 

Gon, however, seemed to straighten up beside him, a constant reminder that he wasn’t alone, that he didn’t have to be. His hand brushed Killua’s. It was warm, and a little bit scratchy from the dry skin on his knuckles.

Killua tried to extinguish the ache inside his chest.

“Kil,” Illumi spoke at last. “Come. We’re leaving.”

“But the movie isn’t even over--”

“It might as well be. While I’m sure everyone in attendance is aware that it was you who was responsible for that disruption, next time I hope you take care to consider how your personal actions reflect back upon the Zoldyck name.”

Gon bristled beside him. “Mr. Illumi, it wasn’t Killua’s fault. I made him laugh. Don’t blame him.” 

Illumi regarded Gon coldly. “Don’t be silly,” he dismissed. “Killua knows full well the expectations of him and his… companions, when he is in public. He knows, and he has broken them. And I don’t feel the need to reiterate how little I feel you are necessary for Killua’s public or personal life. Now, Killua, the car is waiting. Come.” Without waiting for a response, Illumi turned and strode down the carpeted hall. 

Gon turned to Killua with a frown. “You don’t have to go with him,” he said. “I’m staying at Aunt Mito’s tonight before we leave for shooting tomorrow, you could come home with me.” 

Killua’s heart panged at Gon’s choice of words.  _ You could come home with me.  _ How painfully tempting. It’s true that Mito’s house always felt more safe and comfortable, more of a home than the Zoldyck mansion ever did. Mito’s house was always warm, Mito always fussed over him, made sure he was eating enough and put him and Gon to work in her garden. Killua enjoyed talking to Gon’s grandmother as well-- she didn’t talk much, but when she did the conversations were always worthwhile. There was always an extra futon in Gon’s closet for sleepovers, and an extra pair of pajamas in his dresser should Killua need them. 

The thought of going back to the dark, chilly corridors of the mansion, butlers stationed on every floor, his mother and Illumi’s ever-watching eyes constantly tracking him made Killua want to hide underneath a movie theatre seat and never come back out. 

But as much as Killua wanted to go with Gon, he knew that it would just put him in hotter water with Illumi-- and the last thing he needed at the moment was Illumi ratting him out to his father and them deciding that Killua couldn’t be trusted to supervise himself on set for the next months. It would be fine if they sent Canary, or even Gotoh, to watch him, but the thought of any other butler keeping Killua leashed to their side between takes was enough to make Killua force out the next words. 

“I’d better not. Thanks, though,” Killua said, as nonchalantly as possible. He didn’t want Gon to worry for him. 

Gon wasn’t deterred. “Are you positive, Killua? It wouldn’t be a problem at all. Mito would love to have you, she always does.” 

Killua forced a smile. “Nope. I’ll be fine. See you tomorrow, Gon.”

Gon smiled back, but it lacked substance. “Okay. See you, then!” 

Killua waved and turned around to catch up to Illumi, cursing himself for his compliance. 

He hated always doing what Illumi wanted. He really did. It made him feel like a marionette, restricted by the strings tied to his every appendage. His little acts of rebellion, while offering him temporary freedom from his puppetmaster’s will, only got him tangled up in his own threads until he was back under the thumb of his family. 

He’d learned it was easiest to go along with the dance and bide his time until the day he could cut his strings and run. 

**Author's Note:**

> hang out with me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/lunoiks)!


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